


Ikigai

by stubzs87



Series: Yuugen [25]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Asuka - Freeform, Asuka is lost, Asuka takes over the man's role, Asuka x Shinsuke Nakamura, Asukamura, Background Poly, Background Relationships, Cliffhangers, Conflict, Crying, Cute, Cute Ending, Cutesy, Dating, Dorks in Love, Double Dating, Doubt, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Feels, First couple's fight, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Forgiveness, Friendship, Frustration, Hanging Out, Hangover, Happy Ending, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I think Shinsuke secretly loves it when Asuka takes control, Idiots in Love, Internal Conflict, Misunderstandings, Multi, Multiple Pairings, One True Pairing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Rare Pairings, Reconciliation, Rejection, Relationship Advice, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sex, Sexual Content, Shinsuke Nakamura - Freeform, Shinsuke Nakamura x Asuka, Silent Treatment, Smut, Tags May Change, Threesome - F/F/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trouble In Paradise, Vaginal, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Disagreement, Worry, asuka shinsuke, asuka shinsuke nakamura, asuka x shinsuke, balance is restored in an unconventional way, billie kay - Freeform, helpful Peyton, more worrying, peyton royce - Freeform, shinsuke asuka, shinsuke nakamura asuka, shinsuke x asuka, they are back to the very place where things started, tye dillinger/shawn spears, what will happen?, what's eating Shinsuke?, when life throws you lemons, you adapt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:08:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubzs87/pseuds/stubzs87
Summary: It wasn't long ago that Shinsuke had talked privately with her about his hopes of elevating the United States Championship as he had done with the IWGP Intercontinental Championship in New Japan. Asuka remembered how he had carried his first WWE main roster title with pride and respect. Now, in the ensuing months, he seemed to have come to regard it with a sort of disdain.Shinsuke hadn’t been himself much lately either. He often disappeared in between matches, leaving her when she was preoccupied with friends. And he was more subdued when it came to socializing, even when it was just the two of them. He often seemed either mildly irritated or lost in thought.
Relationships: Billie Kay/Peyton Royce, Kana | Asuka/Nakamura Shinsuke, Tye Dillinger/Peyton Royce
Series: Yuugen [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1085937
Comments: 14
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thought since Valentine's day is coming up that I would post a new fic to Yuugen. Also thank you to those that have stuck with and supported my series, it means a lot to me, and I appreciate every little comment and kudo very much~
> 
> Translations and notes:  
> Yurei - A Japanese ghost, often a vengeful one that trails after the living people who have wronged them and caused their death.
> 
> Regular text in quotes=Spoken Japanese  
> Italics in quotes=Spoken English  
> Italics outside of quotes=Main POV character's thoughts  
> Bold text in or out of quotes=Emphasis on word(s)
> 
> \-- = A small time jump of less than a day.

Upon entering their hotel room for the night, Shinsuke all but chucked the bag containing his United States Championship belt onto a nearby chair. Asuka sat her own championship tote bag down much more gingerly next to his.

  
She watched her boyfriend from the corner of her eye as she unpacked her nightclothes and began changing. After wheeling his luggage out of the way Shinsuke sat on the edge of the bed, scrubbing his hands down his face. He looked more than physically weary.

  
Once she was changed, Asuka wandered over to the chair and unzipped his bag, gold embellished with red, white, and blue gleamed up at her. Trailing her fingers over the gold nameplate, she returned her gaze to Shinsuke. He somberly stood, also switching to his sleepwear.

  
It wasn't long ago that Shinsuke had talked privately with her about his hopes of elevating the United States Championship as he had done with the IWGP Intercontinental Championship in New Japan. Asuka remembered how he had carried his first WWE main roster title with pride and respect. Now, in the ensuing months, he seemed to have come to regard it with a sort of disdain.

  
Shinsuke hadn’t been himself much lately either. He often disappeared in between matches, leaving her when she was preoccupied with friends. And he was more subdued when it came to socializing, even when it was just the two of them. He often seemed either mildly irritated or lost in thought.

  
Asuka had asked him what was bothering him on several occasions. He would only smile thinly at her, shake his head, and say something like, "Just work frustrations. Don't worry, Niji.”

  
That she could understand. Even with Randy off his back, Shinsuke just wasn’t getting any big spots as a champion. He was hardly on television, even when he showed up for SmackDown Live. And during pay-per-views, he was relegated to a pre-show spot, against opponents he had no time to form a decent feud with.

  
“Can I do anything to help?” she had asked

  
He shook his head once more and pointed at her SmackDown Woman's Championship. "You just focus on that."

  
She still tried to be as supportive as she could but she could tell his work frustrations were continuing to eat at him. Though he carried his U.S. Title like a prized possession in front of the cameras and the fans, behind closed doors, he hardly looked at it.

  
“What are you doing, Asuka?” Shinsuke asked quietly, breaking her off from her recollections. He had returned to his perch on the bed.

  
Asuka picked up his championship and walked over. She sat down beside him and placed the belt on his lap. Shinsuke’s brows knitted in apparent confusion, dark eyes flitting between her and the title.

  
“You aren’t showing the symbol of Nakamerica much love anymore.” She patted the gold plate. “I thought maybe it needed some attention.”

  
Shinsuke opened his mouth to speak when the ringtone on his cell began going off. He sighed once more and handed her the belt back to answer the call. Asuka hugged the leather and gold to her chest as she observed him pace from one side of the hotel room to the other.

  
“Hello,” he said into the phone. “I’m doing fine Sugabayashi-san, thank you. How are things over there?”

  
There was a long pause in which Shinsuke listened silently to the chairman of NJPW. He began to chew pensively on his lower lip, long fingers twisting in the ends of his hair.

  
"I know," he replied. "How very much I know. I just…" his words trailed off and he seemed to be listening again, eyes darting back and forth as he absorbed the information being given to him. "That's quite generous of you…" he sighed very heavily, then rolled his eyes. "No, I mean it. I just…I really need more time to think, okay?"

  
Shinsuke paced again as it appeared Sugabayashi was talking again. Asuka strained her ears but she couldn't make out a word of the other side of the conversation.

  
"Don't worry, I will let you know soon. Yes. Good day, Sugabayashi-san." When he ended the call Shinsuke stood there for a small eon, staring down at the screen of his phone as if in a trance. Asuka could see his gears turning.

  
Even if she didn’t know the specifics of what Sugabayashi had said, she knew well enough what the call concerned.

  
Shinsuke's contract with WWE would be expiring a few months into the new year. And she wasn't the only one who knew it. WWE's competition knew it too. For weeks now, Shinsuke's phone was ringing off the hook with offers from NJPW, ROH, and even the fledgling AEW. Shinsuke seemed more and more troubled with each phone conversation and it didn't improve his already downtrodden mood.

  
“I wish I could throw this fucking phone out the window,” he had muttered fractiously after one particularly long phone call.

  
Asuka could plainly see how his floundering momentum in WWE, the looming prospect of his contract ending, and the constant badgering from wrestling promotions were getting to him. It all seemed to be haunting him like a yurei. Though he seemed indecisive, she could easily see why he might start to consider another company’s offer.

  
At that thought, Asuka felt a faint knot develop in her stomach.

  
As though sensing her sudden emotional change, Shinsuke finally turned his gaze from his phone to look at her. His eyes met hers and softened. Sitting his phone on the dresser, he approached her and plucked his championship from her grasp, and quite literally tossed it to the side.

  
“I’d much rather give you some attention tonight,” he said, voice husky. He then covered her with his large lithe frame, pressing her back onto the bed. Full lips descended upon hers with needful kisses, devouring her.

  
Asuka tried to keep her focus on the matters at hand, but the downward path of his insistent kisses set her flesh ablaze and fried her mind. Her concentration easily switched to ridding herself of her shorts and shirt.

  
“Shin~” she gasped when his hand cupped the apex of her thighs.

  
Shinsuke watched her face through a hooded, yet intense gaze as he dipped his fingers between her slick folds. He watched her squirm and whine while his thumb circled her clitoris with firm strokes.

  
“Ah! S-Shinsuke~” Her body was on fire for him, a heat only he could satiate.

  
Keeping his hand between her legs, he crawled up her body for more eager kisses, his tongue mimicking the action of his fingers. Then his hot mouth traveled to her nipple, hair tickling her chest as he teased the peak into a hardened bud. 

  
Shinsuke riled her up into a passionate frenzy before backing off to shed himself of his cotton pants. He laid over her again, but this time his kisses became less hurried, more savoring.

  
Returning his kisses, Asuka’s hand slowly drifted down between them. She took his erection in her hand and stroked him a few times. Then she guided him where she needed him most and he pushed inside. She threw her head back, mouth open on a silent moan. Shinsuke panted against her neck before latching his lips there.

  
The pace he set was a slow burn toward ecstasy, punctuated by delicious friction and deep penetrative thrusts. Her hips followed his rhythm, grinding her pelvis against his to help stimulate her clit. His hands and mouth seemed to caress every inch of her he could reach, tantalizing her as much as his thrusts. Often he looked at her face, eyes staring searchingly into hers.

  
Asuka's hands skimmed over his back and ribs then she rested a palm over his sternum. His heart thundered strongly beneath her hand. "I love you," she whispered.

  
Shinsuke paused minutely. His mouth parted invitingly on a light gasp. Asuka reached up and captured his lips, then pushed gently at his chest, coaxing him until he was on his back and she was over him. Though in the position of power, she maintained the steady pace he had begun. In turn, her hands roamed the expanse of his torso, tracing his navel and clavicle, brushing over his nipples. Shinsuke sucked in a breath and gazed up at her through thick lashes.

  
“I love you,” she repeated, leaning over him so that the ends of her hair grazed his chest with each forward movement.

  
The same awed look as before crossed his face. At first, his large hands merely rested on her ass, guiding her a bit faster, then he squeezed her flesh. Asuka moaned in response. She rocked back and forth over him, grinding and swiveling her hips, his cock reaching all the right places inside.

  
“So good…” she mewled. “You fit so good~”

  
At her words, Shinsuke’s body came to life under her, hips moving with hers. Faster and faster. One of his hands shifted up to her breast, rolling a nipple between his thumb and index finger. His breaths came out in heavy puffs.

  
His hard length inside of her, the speed of his thrusts, his artist’s hands mapping out her body; all contributed well to push her towards her climax. But what ultimately sent her over the razor’s edge were his eyes when she spoke again.

  
"You fit me, Shinsuke," she said, the meaning of her words seeming to affect him much more than the mere meeting of their flesh.

  
His breath hitched then and his expression took on that look that had her feeling like he laid her soul bare before his eyes. At one time she shied away from that look, but now it gave her a profound feeling she could scarcely put into words.

  
Asuka sat up with a cry, thighs trembling with her orgasm. Shinsuke surged upward and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders. “Asuka,” he groaned, a low vibration in his chest. He kissed her with a renewed hunger.

  
She clung to him, almost sobbing with satisfaction as she rode out her release and relished the warmth of his.

  
Shinsuke’s hips continued to move for a few moments longer, an attempt to prolong the pulses of pleasure. Then he slowly fell back with her on the bed, his body curling around hers.

  
Nestled in the wonderful haze of the afterglow, Asuka couldn't think to bring up the subject of her boyfriend’s soon-expiring contract again. She instead fell fast asleep in his arms.

\--

Shinsuke’s ringtone woke her with a start and he cursed next to her as he scrambled to take care of it.

  
“Goddamnit, I told him I would let ‘em know,” he slurred sleepily.

  
She turned over in bed in time to see him silence his phone and drop it on the carpeted floor. He then flopped onto his back with a sound of aggravation, one arm thrown over his face to block out the sun.

  
Asuka scooted closer and rubbed his tense shoulder. “C’mere,” she whispered and tugged on his opposite shoulder. Letting out a groan, Shinsuke’s body followed her pull. When he settled again he was draped halfway over her, face buried in the crook of her neck. She embraced him, fingers massaging his scalp. “Better?”

  
Shinsuke let out a tired hum. She heard his breath begin to even out once more.

  
Asuka was just starting to doze off herself when an excited rapping sounded at their hotel door.

_  
“Wakey, wakey, love birds!”_ It was unmistakably Billie Kay’s voice. No doubt her best friend, Peyton, by her side.

  
Shinsuke jumped in her arms, letting out another slew of curses. “Can’t we have any peace for once?”

  
A heavy breath expelled from Asuka’s lungs. “You know they won’t go away unless we see what they want.”

  
"How well I know…" he mumbled back. After a long moment, he rolled to the side to let her up.

_  
“Just a minute!”_ Asuka called as she started rummaging in her suitcase for suitable clothing.

  
Shinsuke remained in bed, watching her nakedness with an expression of open fixation. She grabbed his forgotten pants from the night before and tossed them in his face.

  
“You too, perve,” she teased.

  
“What?” his voice came out muffled behind the garment until he removed it. “I was just enjoying the view.”

  
“You got to see plenty last night,” she retorted while shimmying into a pair of jeans.

  
Suddenly he was behind her; his warm chest pressed against her half-naked back. "And still it is hardly enough," he spoke with a velvet tongue. He kissed her pulse point, large hands gripping her hips with a slightly possessive quality. "Last night…I didn't want it to ever end." His teeth found her earlobe and nibbled, breath hot. "Every moment I spend with you, I wish I could make it last forever."

  
“Shinsuke…” she breathed. Her heart began to patter against her ribcage. Leaning back into him, she laced her fingers with his.

_  
“We’re still out here!”_ Peyton called.

  
Shinsuke nearly growled in exasperation and reluctantly pulled away from Asuka to get dressed. Once they were presentable, Asuka answered the door. She found not only the IIconics, but Peyton’s fiancée, Tye Dillinger, as well.

_  
“Ohh.”_ Asuka blinked in surprise as she let them inside. _“What’s up?”_

_  
“We’re going out for a breakfast date, wanna make it a sort of double date?”_ Peyton asked excitedly.

_  
“A **breakfast** date?”_ Shinsuke echoed, sounding a little grumpy.

_  
“We don’t want a lot of people knowing, but you two are cool,”_ said Peyton. _“Tye’s asked for his release and so Billie and I are spending as much time as we can with him before he leaves WWE. Tye also wanted to spend time with his circle of friends, which you both belong to.”_

_  
“You’re leaving?”_ Asuka asked Tye, blindsided.

  
The other man nodded. _“If my request goes through smoothly, yes. My contract will be up soon and I made the difficult decision to pursue my wrestling career in another company.”_

_  
_Peyton also nodded and took her man’s hand, appearing to be in full support of his choice. Billie took Tye’s other hand.

  
Though Peyton was the one marrying Tye, Billie also fit in with their relationship as both Peyton and Tye’s girlfriend. Asuka suspected not many on the main roster knew about the trio’s polyamory. She only knew because she and Ember had stumbled upon the three of them in a storage room while looking for a secluded place for their own private tryst back at NXT’s PC.

_  
“I see,”_ Shinsuke said, suddenly very serious and pulling Asuka’s thoughts back to current matters.

  
Asuka was then struck by how Peyton's words and Tye's revelation fell very much in line with Shinsuke's predicament and what he had said to her before letting their guests in. Her mind then flashed to the night before, how he had made love to her. It was like he was committing her body to memory.

_  
Was he going to…_

  
She didn't realize that she had begun to teeter off balance until she felt large hands steady her shoulders, and saw the worried gazes of her three friends.

_  
“Are you alright, Asuka?”_ Shinsuke said, tone thick with concern as he held onto her.

  
Asuka tested her feet and found them to be sturdy beneath her. _“Yes. Maybe could use breakfast.”_ She looked at Peyton, Tye, and Billie and smiled. _“Yes, we’ll go with you.”_

  
Their friends all looked relieved and let out an exclamation of _“Great!”_

  
Though Asuka could walk from their room to Tye's rental fine by herself, Shinsuke continued to hover close to her side, his hand at the small of her back. Part of her wanted to tell him she didn’t need to be babied. However, a greater part of her told her to just take in his closeness.

  
During the car ride, Billie and Peyton did most of the talking. Asuka and Tye joined the chatter when they could get a word in. Shinsuke was particularly quiet. Asuka looked over to find him gazing out of the window. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Shinsuke turned to her and gave a small smile before returning his eyes to the passing cityscape.

  
Asuka studied Peyton and Tye in the front seat. How they seemed to be at ease even though Tye was planning to leave WWE and they wouldn’t get to see each other as much. Perhaps it had something to do with having Billie staying with Peyton on the road. Billie also seemed to be fine with Tye's plans.

  
She looked back at Shinsuke. If he left, would she be able to cope with it like the other three were? She decided she would try and get Peyton alone to discuss the matter with her.

  
The place they arrived at to have breakfast was a vegan pizzeria.

_  
“Pizza for breakfast?”_ Shinsuke queried, glancing sidelong at Tye.

  
Tye shrugged. _“Why not?”_

_  
__“If he wants pizza for breakfast, he’s getting pizza for breakfast~”_ Peyton punched her fist in the air enthusiastically.

  
Asuka giggled. _“So cute~”_

  
Shinsuke’s lips curved up into a semblance of a smile.

When they walked inside, Asuka’s attention was immediately grabbed by the game corner. _“Eh? Street Fighter II?!”_ she momentarily forgot everything else and raced over to the retro arcade. _“Does anyone have a quarter?”_ she asked after fishing around in her pockets and purse and coming up with no coins of use.

  
Tye’s laugh sounded from across the room. _“I’ll get some after we order,”_ he promised.

  
After they ordered a vegan Caprese pizza as well as a vegan BBQ pizza to share amongst the five of them, Tye made good on his vow and exchanged some bills for quarters.

  
While they waited for their orders, Billie, Peyton, and Tye took turns playing ski-ball, and Asuka played against the computer on Street Fighter. Shinsuke simply leaned against the arcade and watched her.

  
“You wanna play me?” she asked him after losing. “I’ve got one quarter left.”

  
Shinsuke crossed his arms. “I dunno, you’ll probably beat me.”

  
“Oh c’mon!” she pleaded, then winked. “You might just get lucky~”

  
“I’m already lucky,” he cracked a minutely wider smile.

  
She ignored his quip. “Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

  
“Put the quarter in," he relented finally, pushing off the arcade to join her at the controls.

  
Asuka picked Chun-Li and Shinsuke went with Vega. Asuka started off strong, but Shinsuke started to develop an attack pattern. She still won the first round. In the second round, Shinsuke's attack grew in intensity and he just managed to squeak by with a victory. In the third round, they smashed the buttons with such fierce competitiveness that it ended in a double K.O.

  
“You’re going down!” Asuka threatened.

  
“We’ll see about that,” Shinsuke said as they entered the sudden death round.

  
By then the others had stopped their game to watch her and Shinsuke battle it out, Billie and Peyton cheering for Asuka, and Tye supporting Shinsuke.

  
When Asuka earned the victory she jumped up and down happily. _“I won! I won!”_

_  
__“That was amazing!”_ cried Peyton.

_  
“Good job, Asuka!”_ Billie clapped.

_  
“So…can she beat you in the ring too?”_ Tye asked Shinsuke cheekily.

_  
“So far only in practice…and I let her win,”_ Shinsuke’s eyes gleamed at her and he licked his lower lip.

_  
“I’ll let you think that,”_ Asuka countered with a grin.

_  
“Ohh~”_ The IIconics chorused at her playful verbal jab.

  
They had a little time to learn ski-ball and play a few games with their friends before their order was called. Together they all sat in a booth, eating and chatting. They learned that Tye had gotten an offer from AEW and was hoping to sign with them if he was released early from his WWE contract.

_  
At least they will be in the same country,_ Asuka contemplated. _If Shinsuke decided to return to Japan…_ she mentally shook herself of that thought and busied herself with fidgeting with her shirt hem.

_  
“So how are you two getting along with the new home?”_ Peyton inquired.

  
Asuka looked up from her fiddling. She could tell the other woman cared little for the actual house and was more interested in how and Shinsuke were fairing living together.

_  
“It’s been a nice home,”_ Shinsuke replied. _“A few repairs and small additions. That’s all. Asuka and I enjoy it.”_

_  
__“Yes, a very good home. Almost like Japan.”_ Asuka added. _“It is also nice living together. Now we come home to one place, not separate. It’s good cooking with Shinsuke.”_

_  
“That’s good to hear,”_ said Billie. _“Be sure to invite Peyton and me over some time.”_

  
Shinsuke smiled faintly. _“We’ll see.”_

  
After finishing their breakfast, they began packing up to go. They all had signings to go to before the show that night. And they still needed to squeeze in time at the gym.

  
Before leaving Peyton said she needed to use the restroom. Asuka took that as her opportunity to talk to the Aussie and excused herself as well. Thankfully Billie didn’t attach herself to her best friend and lover's hip as usual.

  
In the restroom, Peyton stood before one of the mirrors washing her hands then began examining her reflection.

  
Asuka pretended to do the same before speaking up hesitantly, _“Um…Peyton?”_

_  
“Hmm?”_ the younger woman answered without turning from the mirror.

_  
“Can I ask, how do you feel about Tye leaving WWE?”_ Asuka played nervously with her shirt again now that her words were out.

  
This time Peyton faced her. _“Honestly? I didn’t like it at first. I still don’t…nor does Billie, but I think we both have come to accept it. So I’ll be okay. **We’ll** all be okay.” _

  
Asuka nodded. _“How did you accept it?”_

_  
"Well…I looked at how unhappy he was in WWE. No matter what, I just want him to be happy, even if it means him working for another company. I would never come between him and what he wants to achieve. That is how I came to terms with it anyway.”_

_  
“I see. That’s good.”_ Asuka said. She tried to maintain her composure as it felt like her fears were coming true.

  
Peyton smiled. _“Billie is being really supportive, more so than usual. So no need to worry about little old me.”_

  
Asuka nodded once more, then looked down as her hands started to shake. She grasped them to keep them still. Peyton noticed anyway, pretty brows pinching with concern.

_  
“Are **you** okay?”_

  
Her breath catching in her throat, Asuka could only shake her head in the negative.

_  
“What’s wrong?”_ The Aussie asked. She wrapped a comforting arm around her.

_  
“Shinsuke,”_ Asuka hiccupped, only then realizing tears were rolling down her face. _“His contract…expiring. Getting many calls.”_ In her current condition, she could only speak in clipped fragments of English. _“Afraid…he’ll return…Japan.”_

_  
“Oh dear,”_ Peyton murmured, pulling Asuka into her arms. _“What makes you think he might do that?”_

_  
_Asuka leaned against the taller woman, trying to collect herself. But the more she tried, the more the tears flowed. _“He’s…unhappy too…I can…see.”_

  
Peyton grew quiet save for soothing sounds. She held Asuka until the tears slowed, then helped dry her eyes. _“You need to talk to him. Find out his intentions for sure, okay?”_

_  
__“Okay,”_ Asuka agreed with a wane smile.

_  
“There, that’s better~”_

  
Peyton fussed over Asuka for a few minutes longer before they both felt fit to leave the restroom. Still, Asuka was sure she looked a mess.

  
Shinsuke was talking with Tye and Billie when they arrived. Asuka was relieved to see him more his old self for the first time in several weeks.

_  
“What took you two so long?”_ Tye asked after Billie and Shinsuke fell silent at the sight of her and Peyton. Everyone seemed to be examining them.

_  
“Girl stuff,”_ Peyton said and left it at that. 

  
The others didn’t pry, but Shinsuke kept his eyes trained on Asuka, a tenseness underlying his frame.

  
“Are you okay?” Shinsuke stopped her before they could enter the rental car.

  
Asuka didn't want to have the discussion with their friends around, even if they could easily switch to Japanese. She'd wait until later when they were alone. She nodded and her lips turned upward weakly.

  
“We’ll talk later,” she said.

  
He bit his lip and looked at the ground. “Alright.”

  
Shinsuke grew quiet again on the ride back to the hotel. Even when they were alone in their room again, packing up to head over to the gym, he was all but silent. Asuka became worried that her obvious crying had added yet another stressor to her boyfriend’s already frazzled state.

  
Would bringing up her worries to him make things worse? _No, I need to tell him._

  
However before she could speak, it was Shinsuke who broke his own hush. “Want to talk about it now?”

  
Asuka paused in packing up her toiletries to look over at him. “Yes, I would like that.”

  
Once again his ringtone stopped their conversation before it could get started.

  
That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and Shinsuke answered the phone bitingly. "Sorry, Sugabayashi-san but I cannot speak to you right now.”

  
He then ended the call there and threw the phone across the room. Fortunately, the sturdy phone case and screen protector seemed to have saved it from any damage. Panting breaths born of vexation caused his chest to rise and fall heavily. He closed his eyes and took a single deep breath from his nose, held it, and exhaled slowly through his mouth. When he opened his eyes again he looked a modicum calmer.

  
Asuka crossed the room and cupped his face in her hands. “It’s okay, Shinsuke,” she said gently. He relaxed further and embraced her. She pressed her ear to his chest, listened to his heartbeat gradually slowing. "It's okay."

  
When she felt that the anger had left him, she decided it was time to continue where things had left off.

  
“I can see you’ve been unhappy. I could sense it.”

  
"I'm sorry, Asuka," he croaked. "I've been awful lately…and I've upset you. I haven't been as good to you as I would have liked and I'm so sorry."

  
"It's okay," she stroked his back softly. "I just want you to be happy." She then swallowed thickly and shoved her fears aside. "So…if someone gives you an offer and will provide you with a workplace you will be happier at, I want you to take it."

  
Shinsuke stiffened in her arms. Slowly he peeled himself back and took in face her. “W-What?”

  
“When your contract expires…if you would be happier at AEW, ROH, even back at New Japan, I want you to take the offer.” She caressed his face lovingly despite trying to keep her tears at bay. “You don’t have to stay here because of me. I would be okay. I just want you to know that.”

  
“What is this all about?” He pulled back further, bafflement etched on his face. “Wait, is this because of Tye?” His tone took on a pained edge. “Is that what you think I want, to leave too?”

  
“But…” Asuka blinked, now feeling confused and like she shoved her foot stupidly into her mouth. “Y-You’ve hardly been yourself…you haven’t been happy…even as United States Champion...I thought…maybe…you wanted to go where you felt more respected.”

  
“Unhappy as United States Champion?” he parroted. He closed his eyes tight as though a headache were developing. “You couldn’t be more wrong about that…”

  
“Then…what is it, Shinsuke?” Exasperation joined the confusion and shame swirling within her.

  
Shinsuke wiped a hand down his face. Clearly, he was closing in on anger once again. "Sure, my title reign isn't anything to be proud of…and I usually don't put a price tag on happiness, but having my title…it means it a better paycheck that could help us get our house. You're right I've been unhappy, but not so much about my reign. It has little to do with me and more to do with you."

  
“Me?” Asuka was caught off guard again.

  
"Yes, you," Shinsuke said quietly, but it might as well have been a shout due to the hardness of his expression. "I've been going to Vince's office as much as I have been able, asking him, **begging** him to hold you, the SmackDown Women’s Champion, on the same level as the RAW Women’s Champion and recognize you as the top grade talent that you are. It clearly is falling on deaf ears, but I've been trying. You not getting the respect you deserve makes me unhappy." He looked away from her then. "And yet you thought I would give up and leave WWE so easily, leave you, because of a little unhappiness. I would never do that to you. Besides, I still have many unfinished goals in this company.”

  
“Shinsuke…I’m..I-I’m sorry…I…I d-didn’t know.” Her lower lip started to quiver.

  
"Maybe not…" he turned away and resumed packing his things. "But I still thought you would know me better than that.”

  
“S-Shinsuke…” fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

  
His back tensed as though flinching from a blow and he paused in his task. She thought he might approach her, pull her into his arms, and tell her that everything was okay, that he forgave her.

  
Instead, he turned, and with his things in tow, left the hotel room without so much as sparing her a glance.

  
Asuka stood rooted to the floor, like she was caught in a freeze-frame of a movie she desperately hoped to rewind, to rewrite.

  
But this was life, and there was no changing the past.

  
A few more moments of stillness passed, then she slowly crouched on the floor, arms wrapped around her body as near painful sobs rushed out of her.

  
How could she do this? How could she be so stupid? How could she screw things up this badly? What was she going to do? How was she going to fix this?

_  
Don’t worry about the how. Figure it out as you go. Now get up._

  
After a time, she didn’t know how long, she got to her feet and wiped at her eyes and nose. Gradually she got her things together, grabbed their keycards, and left to check out. The receptionist asked her if she was okay – she was tired of it now. She wanted to grab the lady by the suit jacket, shake her while yelling **“No I’m not okay!”**

  
But she refrained, plastered on her Noh mask, and said she was fine.

  
Okay or not and no matter the hows, Asuka was determined to find a way to fix the mess she created.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he parked, Asuka took a chance and covered his hand with hers. “Please…” her voice shook, even to her own ears. She didn’t know what else to say at the moment so she left it at that.
> 
> Finally, Shinsuke looked at her. His expression was mostly unreadable and she thought he had a more perfect mask than hers. If only she possessed his uncanny ability to read people and see through it.
> 
> And couldn’t he see how sincerely sorry she was? Read her pain?
> 
> Minor cracks formed in his expression as he stared at her, but not enough to tell her anything. After several long minutes of him saying nothing nor making a move to take her hand or pull away, she slowly removed her hand and looked down at her lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you for the kudos/comments and hope you all have a good weekend~
> 
> Translations and Notes:  
> Genkan - The small entryway in a Japanese home where you leave your shoes and coat before stepping into the house proper.  
> Engawa - Broad outdoor halls (usually made of wood) that are the transition point between the indoors and the outdoors of a traditional Japanese house. They can be likened to veranda or porch.  
> More translations at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers.
> 
> Regular text in quotes=Spoken Japanese  
> Italics outside of quotes=POV character's thoughts  
> Bold text in or out of quote=Emphasis on word(s)
> 
> \-- = Small time jump of less than a day

Asuka was surprised to find their rental car still in the parking lot upon leaving the hotel, Shinsuke seated on the driver’s side. The way he exited the room she had half expected him to leave her there. Hope crept back into her heart and she rushed to the passenger side door and got in.

  
“Shinsuke,” she said immediately. “Kitsune, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  
Shinsuke was staring off out the windshield, nearly a statue.

  
“Shinsuke…” she repeated. She reached for his hand, but he lifted it then and started the ignition.

  
He paid her little mind as he backed out of the parking space. Asuka bit her lip. Tasted blood. Shinsuke was angry with her. It was something she never experienced from him before. His silence was as worse than...

 _  
No…_ she closed her eyes tight. _Nothing would ever be worse as that day…And Shinsuke would never…_

 _  
_ Yet the hush between them felt like a void, a black hole sucking in everything negative around it, growing larger and larger, pushing them further apart with each moment of unspoken anguish.

  
During their relationship and even before, she had gone through periods of silence with him. But they were comfortable silences that consisted of merely enjoying being in each other’s company.

  
This silence…it was awkward as hell and it was killing her.

  
Asuka cracked an eye open, peered to her left. Shinsuke continued to face straight ahead as he drove. Despite the white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel he stayed well within a safe speed, took no risks. They arrived at the gym without a hitch.

  
And still, his ignoring her stung just as much as if he had spent the drive loudly berating her. Asuka almost welcomed that more. At least then she would maybe know what he was feeling. Maybe then she could have a clue as to how to mend the rift between them.

  
When he parked, Asuka took a chance and covered his hand with hers. “Please…” her voice shook, even to her own ears. She didn’t know what else to say at the moment so she left it at that.

  
Finally, Shinsuke looked at her. His expression was mostly unreadable and she thought he had a more perfect mask than hers. If only she possessed his uncanny ability to read people and see through it.

  
And couldn’t he see how sincerely sorry she was? Read her pain?

  
Minor cracks formed in his expression as he stared at her, but not enough to tell her anything. After several long minutes of him saying nothing nor making a move to take her hand or pull away, she slowly removed her hand and looked down at her lap.

  
Shinsuke let out a deep breath and with a rustle of fabric, opened the car door and got out.

  
She continued to sit in the car, thoughts cycling through a mantra. _Oh god, oh god, oh god, I really have screwed up._

  
His presence lingered outside the car, then she saw him leave for the gym through her periphery. It took some minutes before Asuka could work up the nerve to follow him.

  
Inside she found Shinsuke already changed into his workout gear. His eyes momentarily flashed in her direction before his attention returned to his stretching. Upon finishing, he headed over to a barbell. He set the weight then started working on his barbell squats.

  
Asuka had another work out in mind. After changing and warming up, she headed across the room to the heavy bags and strapped on a pair of gloves. She began striking the bag with her fists, slowly at first, then faster and harder.

  
She felt his unmistakable gaze burning into her back.

_  
Now he looks at me?_

  
Her jaw muscles tightened as her teeth clenched behind her lips and she gave the bag a ferocious sidekick. For the remainder of her work out - however long that was – she punched and kicked and roared out her own frustrations. Not once looking over her shoulder.

  
It was only when she sensed him behind her, felt his hand on her shoulder that she paused her flurry of strikes.

  
"Don't overdo it," he cautioned mildly when she shrugged his hand off of her.

  
“I’m fine,” she said through her teeth, trying to stay calm. She carried on beating the bag.

  
Shinsuke moved so that he stood behind the bag, steadying it for her. This time his eyes bore into hers. “We should get some lunch soon, before the signing.”

  
“Just a little bit longer,” she said through panting breaths. Sweat seared her eyes, but she didn’t stop to brush it away.

  
On her next punch, Shinsuke grabbed her wrist in a firm but painless grip. She could read him perfectly now. _Enough_ he was telling her.

  
Asuka whipped her arm out of his grasp and she gave the bag one last thunderous punch. Then she turned on her heel, ripped off the gloves, and marched to the locker room to change.

  
He wanted silence? She would give it to him.

  
From then until the signing Asuka only spoke or looked at Shinsuke when it was absolutely necessary. She kept her vision on her food though they ate their lunch across from each other.

  
She continued to feel his eyes on her, but he said nothing, and she didn't look over to see if his expression had taken on more emotion or not.

  
During the signing taking place at a nearby Wal-Mart, they both seemed to fix false smiles on their faces as they sat side by side, greeting lines of fans and signing multitudes of photos.

  
They were both surprised by two schoolgirls greeting them in Japanese.

  
“You’re from Japan?” Shinsuke asked, his astonishment the most emotion Asuka had seen out of him since their hushed quarrel had begun.

  
“Yes,” one girl said, blushing at Shinsuke from behind a hand. “We’re foreign exchange students.”

  
“Ohh how exciting!” Asuka said happily. “So very nice to meet you both! How are you liking America?”

  
“It’s different,” the other girl tittered more boldly. “But it’s not bad. Easier to get a date here.”

  
“There’s that!” Asuka agreed, even she didn’t do much dating since coming to America. However, she did notice that courtship amongst Americans was more direct.

  
“So are you two married?” the bold girl asked.

  
Asuka’s eyes widened at her forwardness and Shinsuke tensed beside her.

  
Though her relationship with Shinsuke was known at work, they had not yet made it a public fact. They didn’t want their relationship under fan scrutiny as of yet so they tried to keep a low profile outside of work.

  
Asuka forced a smile and shook her head as she signed her pair of photos.

  
“Then are you dating?” the girl pressed eagerly.

  
Asuka shook her head again. “We’re just friends.” She then handed the autographs to the girls.

  
Shinsuke’s eyes fell on her again; only his gaze felt like it had a different quality. Something like yearning, or was it disappointment?

“Aww,” the girl pouted. “I was hoping so. You two would be so cute together~”

  
“C’mon Akane, don’t bother them like that,” said the shy girl, tugging on her friend’s arm so they didn’t hold up the line.

  
The girls posed for a quick photo with them, then waved their goodbyes.

  
After the girls left, Asuka peeked at Shinsuke, but by then he was greeting another fan.

  
Their war of silence waged on to the arena where they spent most of their time engaging with their friends, writers, seamstresses, and makeup artists. If any of their friends or co-workers noticed anything off between her and Shinsuke, they kept it to themselves.

  
That night Shinsuke lost his United States Championship to R-Truth. Through her anger, Asuka felt a compelling need to comfort him for his loss. But something about the set of her boyfriend’s shoulders kept her from embracing him. So she went off to catering, grabbed a blueberry muffin, and snuck it into the male locker room, a note with his name attached to it.

  
She found the muffin where she left it when it came to be time to leave.

  
The hush followed them onto their flight home the next morning. Shinsuke seemed overly enthralled with doodling lines and spirals in his pocket sketchpad, not once drawing anything of real significance. To busy herself, Asuka watched Deadpool.

  
Never before had she sat right next to someone – the person she loved dearly – and yet felt a million miles away from them.

  
Once they made it home, Shinsuke put his suitcases next to the door and went right back outside. By this time Asuka was tired and angry and she had had enough. She opened the door to see him walking down the driveway, headed for the street.

  
“Where are you going?” she shouted after him.

  
“Out.”

  
"Without the car?" Her voice became incredulous.

  
"I want to walk," he replied as if taking a stroll in the middle of the night was perfectly normal.

  
"Fine! Go!" her voice rose in volume. Surely the whole closed gate neighborhood could hear her, but she didn’t care. “I love you and I said I was sorry! But you can’t accept that, can you? You’ve never ever even said you loved me back! Not once!!”

  
Shinsuke stopped in his tracks, his head falling forward and hands closing into fists. Then, after a moment he pressed on, not once looking back at her.

  
Asuka slammed the door closed. Her rage seeping from her suddenly, she collapsed against the wood and cried fat tears that formed puddles of sorrow at her feet.

 _  
Fix things? I only made them worse!_ She threaded her hands through her hair, sobbing until she thought her head might explode.

\--

Next thing Asuka knew she was opening tear swollen eyes. She fell asleep against the door. Licking chapped lips, she tasted dried snot from her crying. Asuka grimaced and wiped at her face. The waning daylight filtering in through the windows caught her attention.

_  
What time was it?_

  
She looked at her phone. The screen read 5:39pm.

  
Asuka lurched to unsteady feet and searched her phone for missed calls or text messages.

  
Nothing.

  
She had called him out on not vocally returning her declarations of love but she had felt what she suspected was love from him. Of course he loved her, right? _What if he…doesn’t love me anymore. What if he doesn’t come back?_ A life without Shinsuke, after all we’ve shared thus far…

  
Her heart thudded hollowly in her chest at the prospect.

  
Quickly pulling up his number, she rang his cell. It went straight to voicemail. Asuka pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it in horror.

_  
Did he turn it off?_

  
She tried again. Same result. She almost left a voice message but backed out of it.

_  
No, this time he needs to get over himself and apologize to me._

_  
And if he doesn’t?_ A little worm of doubt invaded her brain.

  
Asuka didn’t have an answer for that. Instead, she wandered to the fridge and looked inside. The contents were as bare as it usually was after they had both been gone on the road.

  
She decided she would get some groceries, hoping the menial task of choosing between chicken and pork would soothe her racing mind. She arrived back home to an empty house with several bags of food. and still weighed down with worry.

  
After finishing the chore of putting away the groceries, Asuka checked her phone. Nothing from Shinsuke.

_  
Should do some laundry…_

  
In between washings and dryings, she played video games, mostly ones she had already beaten before but loved. She found no solace or enjoyment in them.

  
Every so often she would check her phone. And each time she found not one call, voice message, or text.

  
It was now going on eight pm, causing Asuka’s concern to increase. She tried his phone again and when it went to voice mail, she left a message.

  
“Shinsuke…I don’t know where you are, but I thought you should know that you’ve worried me. Let’s stop with this silly silent treatment, already. Come home and we’ll talk over dinner.”

  
Another hour passed and she finished the laundry and started dinner, cooking for two. She ate her portion and put away the leftovers.

  
Still there was no response.

  
She left another, more scathing message.

  
“Are you getting enjoyment out of upsetting me on top of everything else? Has it become a game to you now? Well, I hope you're happy!" She ended the call wishing she could slam the phone down but settled for furiously pressing the “End Call” button on her screen.

  
Asuka turned the television on and scrolled through Netflix in search of something to abate her anger and anxiety. She came to We Bare Bears and before she knew it, tears flooded her eyes again. Her body fell sideways on the couch, a pillow hugged tightly to her chest as she sobbed into it.

  
“I’m so sorry for that last message. I’m just so tired and angry and…I’m so very worried. I want you here with me. Please come home soon.”

  
Next Asuka tried occupying herself by drawing. She didn't have anything in mind so she made shapes and little squiggles and a dot here and there. The end result was a crudely drawn but still very much endearing Shinsuke chibi. Asuka’s vision blurred and a single tear landed on the paper, making the ink run.

  
It was now 1:15am.

  
“Shinsuke, it’s me again. I don’t know if you’re getting these messages or not. You’re probably tired of them all.” She laughed nervously. “This will be the last one…for awhile anyway. Please come home. I’m not mad anymore and we don’t have to talk about anything until you’re ready. O-Or you can just call or text me and tell me where you are so I don’t have to worry so much. Least let me know you’re okay. That’s all I ask.” Her voice cracked so she decided not to prolong the message. “I love you…”

  
Asuka must have fallen asleep again because the faint distant tapping sound she heard was enough to rouse her harshly. She sat up on the couch with a pounding heart and blinked. The sound was someone knocking at the door. Shinsuke didn’t need to knock.

  
She leaped up instantly and raced out of the living room. Breezing down the hall, she slammed open the door to the genkan and approached the front door. And yet she was fearful to open it.

  
What if it was the police there to tell her something bad had happened?

  
Steeling herself, Asuka slowly turned the knob and opened the door.

  
The sight on the other side gave her a start. Akira and Kairi stood on the engawa. Between them, they struggled to hold up Shinsuke’s large frame. She was met with the top of her boyfriend's head as it hung low, chin resting on his chest.

  
“Oh my god!” Asuka cried. “Shinsuke!”

  
Shinsuke stirred slightly at her frightened shouts, mumbling incoherently.

  
Akira smiled sheepishly. “He’s okay, just completely wasted.”

  
“Just?” Asuka asked as she moved to Kairi’s side to help the smaller woman bring her boyfriend's dead weight inside. At this point, she didn't care about removing shoes at the genkan. She only wanted to get Shinsuke inside so she could check him over herself. “He looks half dead!”

  
“He may as well be,” Kairi grumbled. “I can’t believe you let him drink so much.”

  
“He looked like he needed a few, but then I lost track of how many he had while we were playing pool,” Akira grunted.

  
"You should have been keeping an eye on him!" Asuka scolded him.

  
They managed to haul Shinsuke to the living room and laid him down on the couch. His lanky body spanned the entirety of the piece of furniture. Asuka crouched at his side. She put her hand an inch from his mouth and nose. Content at feeling his steady breathing, she pressed her ear to his chest to check the rhythm of his heart. It was a little slow, but nothing alarming.

  
“S-Sorry, Asuka-chan,” Akira rubbed the back of his head anxiously.

  
“It’s fine. I can take care of him from here. Thank you for bringing him home.”

  
“Are you sure? I could stay the night.” Kairi offered.

  
Asuka shook her head. “I should be alright. I’ll call if I need anything.”

  
“Alright.”

  
Akira and Kairi bowed and they took their leave.

  
Turning her attention back to a mostly unconscious Shinsuke, Asuka smoothed her fingers over his forehead and stroked his bound hair.

  
"Oh, Shinsuke…look at us.” She whispered. “We’re both a mess right now.” She took his hand in hers and kissed it.

  
There was no way to move him to bed and she wasn’t about to leave his side. So she settled down on the floor beside the couch, resting her head on his shoulder, one arm sprawled over his chest in a half embrace.

  
It didn’t take long for Shinsuke to rouse again. His body jerked violently upward and he made a gagging sound.

  
"Oh no!" Asuka scrambled to her feet and raced for a nearby wastebasket.

  
She placed it in front of him just in time. His horrible retching made her wince, but she was relieved to see him recovered enough to sit up and grip the edges of the basket. Rubbing his back, she softly encouraged him to get it all out.

  
Shinsuke collapsed back on the cushions, breathing heavily, forehead glistening from his sudden exertion.

  
Asuka sat down next to him, caressing his stubbled jaw. “Feel better?”

  
“A-Asuka?” he murmured.

  
"Yeah, it's me." She smiled a little. "You scared me half to death.

  
Shinsuke’s eyes fluttered open, revealing unfocused orbs. When he managed to get a fix on her face, a goofy smile split his lips.

  
“Asuka~”

  
Suddenly he crushed her to his chest in a hug.

  
“Eh! Shinsuke?” she gave a muffled squeak into his chest, surprised by the close contact. It felt like a small eternity since he last showed her affection.

  
“I was looking all over for you,” he slurred, nuzzling her head. “I’m so happy I found you~”

  
“Really?” Even if Shinsuke was speaking through a drunken haze, she couldn’t help but smile a little.

  
“Mhmm.” He pulled back and went for a kiss.

  
Asuka eeped and could only turn her head to avoid him landing the kiss on her lips. As much as she loved him and was happy he was home safe, she really didn’t want to taste his vomit/alcohol breath.

  
Shinsuke didn’t seem to notice or care that he kissed her cheek instead, he was pleased with what he got. He moved his face into her neck and a small noise of satisfaction escaped him.

  
She thought he had dozed off until he leaned away from her, another lopsided grin on his face. “I got something for you.”

  
“Oh? And what would that be,” she asked, both puzzled and amused.

  
Shinsuke let go of her and started searching all of his pockets. "There you are," he said, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. With all the grace of a newborn colt, he clumsily kneeled on the floor. He wasn't quite facing her directly when he showed her a very conspicuous square box.

  
Asuka’s eyes became saucers. _He didn’t…_

  
He fiddled with the box three times before successfully flipping the top open.

  
“Oh shit…”

  
“Asuka…” he swayed on his knees. “Will you marry me?”

  
For at least a minute she could only sit there, staring at him and the flashy ring he presented to her.

_  
This can’t be happening…_

_  
_ Disbelief continued to swim around in her head. She snatched the box from him and examined the ring. It has to be a fake. Some prank he was playing on her.

  
Her heart thundered, blood rushing loudly in her ears.

  
The large rainbow opal and the diamond-encrusted rose gold band wasn't fake at all. And it being real was worse than had it been a fake.

_  
How could he do this? Go get drunk and buy a ring? Were Kairi and Akira in on this? If they were, I’m going to have their asses._

  
A marriage proposal was supposed to be special. Not like this.

  
Her fury returning to her, Asuka snapped the box shut and slammed it back in his hand. “No.”

  
Shinsuke blinked, the smile falling from his face. "What?" he asked. Abruptly he seemed soberer than moments ago.

  
She stood, hands on her hips. "I said. Hell. No."

  
He clambered after her as she stomped towards their bedroom. “Asuka!” Though he tripped over his own feet, he pursued her on his hands and knees. “Wait...Asuka! Wait…I love you!”

  
Asuka jerked to a stop, his words initially hitting her like a sledgehammer. He said he loved her.

  
She shook herself of the dreamy feeling that began to overtake her. Whirling on him she jabbed her finger angrily in his direction.

  
“That’s the goddamn booze talking and so is that.” She gestured at the box. “I hope you kept your receipt because I’m sure you’ll regret that purchase in the morning!”

  
“Asuka please…” He thrust the box out to her desperately. “I do really, **really** love you.”

  
Those words struck at her heart again and her lower lip trembled. She had to remain firm. Shaking her head, she said, “No. And you can sleep off your hangover on the couch.”

  
A look of pain pinched the skin around his eyes and they might have become misty. Though seeing him in torment tore her apart, she was through suffering for him tonight.

  
Turning away from him, she said, “Goodnight, Shinsuke.” Then she retreated up the stairs to their bedroom.

  
Asuka tried to slough off her emotions as she changed and got into bed. The effort was for naught. She tossed and turned and cried and agonized alone with her thoughts.

_  
He said he loved me. Does that count if he’s drunk?_

_  
_ _Did I react too rashly?_

 _  
_ _Goddamn it, I'm so pissed off at him though!_

 _  
_ _…But I still love him…_

Sleep came in short spurts.

  
Eventually, the sound of birds chirping in the early morning darkness helped her decide to give up on sleep. She got up intending to get a cup of coffee and check in on Shinsuke.

  
It all happened so fast she gave a small yelp.

  
When she opened the door her boyfriend fell into the room backward, his skull bouncing off the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

  
“Oww! Shit!” Shinsuke seethed, cradling the back of his cranium.

  
Apparently, he didn't sleep it off on the couch. It was a wonder she didn't hear him come up, and a much bigger wonder that he didn't fall down the stairs on the way.

  
Despite her conflicted feelings, Asuka bent over him. “Are you alright?”

  
He squinted one eye open then quickly shut it, even the dimmest of light obviously bothering him.

  
"My head feels like a gong," he said. His voice sounded rough but sober.

  
"That's what you get for trying to be the town drunk. Were you at the bar from the night before until last night?"

  
"No, I walked to Akira's the other night. Stayed over." Shinsuke then added a bit guiltily. "May have raided his alcohol stash before he decided to take me to the bar before I drank it all."

  
Asuka glared down at him before choosing to take some pity on him. She stepped over his supine form and padded to the bathroom. She poured him a glass of water and grabbed him a couple of ibuprofens.

  
“Here,” she said. She helped him sit up and handed him the water and the pills.

  
Shinsuke graciously accepted them, downing the entire glass. As he placed one hand on the floor to steady himself, it bumped into something. His brows knitted in confusion and he picked up the object. It was the box from last night. Shinsuke screwed his eyes closed and grimaced.

 _  
Well here we go,_ Asuka thought. _This is where he says, “What is this. I never meant to buy a ring!”_

  
“Asuka…” he began. “I…I didn’t, did I? Tell me I didn’t propose to you last night.”

  
“Wish I could say you didn’t…” she replied. “Hell, I wish I could forget it.”

  
He sighed deeply. “I’m sorry Asuka…” She was about to tell him it was okay, that he could just take it back, but he cut her off at the pass. “This wasn’t how I had intended for this to happen.” He buried his face in his hands, looking utterly distraught. “I meant to ask for your hand when you won your championship…b-but I…I chickened out…”

  
“W-What?” Asuka asked, totally flabbergasted. “You…You didn’t buy that last night?” Thinking back to the TLC pay-per-view, suddenly some of his behavior that night made sense to her.

  
Shinsuke peered up at her, only his eyes visible above his hands. “No, I didn’t. I-It…It was the first thing I purchased after I won my United States Championship.” He lowered his hands and fidgeted with the box nervously. “I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket every day for four and a half months…” He dropped the box to the floor and lowered his head. “I’m such a coward.”

  
Asuka tentatively wrapped her arms around him. She breathed a sigh of relief when he leaned into her, his arms moving around her.

  
"I know our time together hasn't really been long," He went on. "But for me, it feels longer…and I'm not getting any younger…I…I really wanted you to be mine sooner rather than later. There were many times I could have…should have proposed…but I always stopped short. I worried you would think my offer was coming too early.”

  
“Shinsuke…” Asuka stroked his hair, feeling horrible for how she treated him last night. “I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you.”

  
Shinsuke shook his head. “What you said yesterday after lunch…it hurt a lot that you thought I would leave you behind in WWE, especially with Orton around. Even so…I didn’t handle it well.”

  
“I didn’t handle it well either,” she reasoned, laying aside her pride. “I should have talked things over with you before just assuming what you wanted.”

  
"And I should have come to you and talked things over," he countered. "It was stupid of me to think you a mind reader." He rubbed one of her arms. "I haven’t been good to you as it is…you putting up with me being down in the dumps. I shouldn’t have…dealt with things like I did yesterday. I should have talked it through with you instead of running off and getting drunk.” He exhaled heavily. “It’s not an excuse, but I suppose my thoughts turned to Emiko. I…wanted to tell you I loved you so many times and I wanted to be able to just give you a nice proposal. But how she left me was still lurking in the back of my head. It made afraid of something going wrong again if I told you my true feelings, if I asked you to marry me. I wish I could have brushed those thoughts aside. I am truly sorry, Asuka.”

  
Asuka held him tighter. From what Shinsuke had told her of Emiko and their failed engagement, it had really messed him up. "For the record…we both didn't handle the last few days well at all. But, I think it was brave of you to have gotten a ring in the first place."

  
“You think so?” he asked in a small voice.

  
"Yeah." She let him go to pick up the box and returned it to him.

  
He looked forlorn as he took it back. “I can’t believe I gave you a drunken proposal…now it all feels ruined…” He paused and Asuka was unsure of what to say to ease him right then. “What else did you have to put up with from me last night?” he asked, mildly changing the subject

  
"Well, you threw up...a lot. Then you tried to kiss me. You got the cheek." She patted his back. "And you said you loved me."

  
“I see…” he hung his head. “You probably didn’t believe me either.”

  
“No,” Asuka answered honestly, playing with her shirt.

  
Shinsuke lifted his head and looked her in the eye. “But I do love you, Asuka.”

  
Her heart began to patter, faster than when he told her last night, for he was pretty well free of his influence of alcohol.

  
"I've loved you from the very beginning…" he confessed. "Even before I knew it, I loved you. The reason I never told you before is the same reason I held onto this ring so long. I was a coward, afraid of rejection and heartbreak. But what you said to me before I left…it made me realize what an idiot I’ve been in not saying it.”

  
He enveloped her hands with his, holding them tenderly. “I may have screwed up proposing, but know this, Asuka: I love you more than anything in this world. You are my ikigai, my reason for being.” He bowed his head deeply. “I ask that you please forgive all my transgressions. I will never let it happen again.”

  
At first, Asuka could only stare at him with her mouth ajar as his words washed over her. Then a complete certainty filled her. “Yes.”

  
“You forgive me?” He looked up cautiously.

  
She shook her head. “I’m doing one better. I’ll marry you.”

  
Shinsuke’s eyes widened comically. “W-What?...But I—”

  
Asuka jumped onto his lap, bowling him over in the process. Shinsuke winced momentarily but looked up at her with immense interest. Crossing her arms on his chest she rested her chin on them. An uncontrollable grin pulled at her lips.

  
Making her voice resolute, she said, “I will marry you, Shinsuke Nakamura.”

  
He blinked owlishly up at her before a giddy smile overtook his face. "I must be the luckiest man alive or I’m dreaming!”

  
“Oh you are, Kitsune. And believe me, this is no dream,” she assured him, pinching his “fox-whiskered” cheek for good measure. “But you’re gonna have to make it up to me.”

  
“Anything you want!” He proclaimed happily. He sat up again, encircling her in his arms. “What will it be?”

  
“I want a Kitsune no yomeiri since I’m clearly marrying one,” she teased lovingly, tracing a finger over his collarbone.

  
“Of course~” he replied, undaunted.

  
“And I want a Shinto wedding.”

  
“Done!”

  
“At Fushimi Inari Shrine.”

  
Shinsuke’s confident smile faded minutely. “That will…take some planning…”

  
Giggling at his expression, Asuka gave him a wink. “Just use your fox magic.”

  
“If I have any left after all this…” he pouted, then held up the box. “M-May I?” he asked meekly.

  
Her face heated, feeling suddenly shy. In answer she raised her left hand for him, splaying her digits.

  
Shinsuke too became quite red in the face. He took the ring from the box and gently took her hand. His gaze met hers as he slid the ring over her finger.

  
Asuka felt like she could get lost in the warm, swirling depths of his eyes.

  
The botched proposal may not have been what she or Shinsuke had hoped for, but it somehow found its way into the hand that they had been dealt. What was done was done, all decisions final. She loved him too much to hold his mistake against him. All that mattered was that he loved her in return. There was no going back on her word now. There was only moving forward. And she was looking forward to her future with Shinsuke. She would accept it all, the ups and the downs.

  
“I love you, Shinsuke,” Asuka whispered. “My everything, my ikigai.”

  
Eyes sparkling with his smile, Shinsuke whispered back, “I love you too, Asuka.” His lips lightly brushed her knuckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Translations:  
> Ikigai - translates to “a reason for being.”  
> Kitsune no yomeiri - a fox wedding procession. When atmospheric lights or ghost lights appear, it was believed in ancient times to be a wedding procession of foxes carrying lanterns.  
> Fushimi Inari Shrine - The largest and most well known shrine in the world dedicated to the Shinto God Inari. It is located in Kyoto Japan. Inari is the god of agriculture and represented by white foxes.
> 
> As always, please don't be shy to comment along with your kudos. I greatly appreciate any support I get for my writing. Also, don't forget to Tweet #NakaMania on Twitter~


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day and everyone take care~ Thanks to those that has stuck through this rollercoaster of a fic and thank you for your comments and kudos <3
> 
> This last part is short, but I still hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Translations and notes:  
> Yakiniku - translates as “grilled meat,” and usually beef or offal. 
> 
> Regular text in quote=Spoken Japanese  
> Italics in quotes=Spoken English  
> Bold text in or out of quotes=Emphasis on word(s)

*A Month Later*

“Hey Shinsuke, we should go to Futago since we’re in New York City," Asuka suggested.

  
“Futago?” Shinsuke glanced at her while driving, a wry smile pulling at his lips. “Now that brings back memories.”

  
“So is that a yes?” She fluttered her lashes at him.

  
"I suppose..." He chuckled. "Though I feel a little underdressed compared to you," he said, gesturing to her sharp black pants suit. "Is today some special occasion that I should know about?"

  
“Naw, not really,” she intentionally lied. “I just didn’t have anything clean to change into after the show.”

  
Shinsuke looked at her skeptically but didn’t call her out on it. “Alright, we’ll go. For old time’s sake.”

  
“Thank you~” she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

  
When they arrived at the yakiniku restaurant, they saw that the members of New Day, as well as Carmella, Peyton, Billie, Akira, Kenta, Kairi, and Greg Hamilton were also there. They greeted them all briefly. Then they were seated in the exact same booth they were served on the very night Shinsuke first shared a hotel room with her. The first night they ever shared a bed and started this journey together towards a relationship.

  
“Well isn’t this a coincidence?” Shinsuke laughed. He sat on his side. “Shall we order Kobe beef?”

  
“Of course~”

  
They ordered and were given strips of raw Kobe to cook over their tabletop grill, as well as ice soda and yakiniku sauce.

  
“It feels like years ago since we last did this,” Shinsuke mused while they ate. “Strange how time flies.”

  
“Indeed,” Asuka agreed. She decided to be cheeky and attempted to grab his meat with her chopsticks.

  
“Not this time, Devil Woman,” he grinned, evading her attack and quickly popped the bite in his mouth. Then he made a face. “That was a mistake…”

  
“Still too hot from the grill?”

  
Shinsuke could only nod pitifully as he chewed. “But it was worth it.”

  
“Poor thing,” she cooed. “C’mere, let me kiss it better~”

  
Asuka threw him a seductive look that had him obeying her wishes and he moved over to sit beside her. She took a cube of ice from her glass of soda, making sure to trace her lips with it. Shinsuke’s eyes fixed on her lips, watching the slow movement of her hand before she put the ice in her mouth. She enjoyed the look of desire that claimed his expression and leaned in. He met her halfway. Asuka caressed his tongue with hers before passing the ice cube into his mouth.

  
When she parted the kiss, Shinsuke’s gaze became smokey and intent.

  
“Better?” she asked smugly.

  
"Mhmm,” he mumbled, sucking on the ice cube.

  
Damn, he looked really good right then. _Keep it together_ , she told herself.

  
They finished their food and paid their share as usual when they ate out. Shinsuke got up to leave. Asuka slid out of the booth as well.

 _  
“Shinsuke, wait a minute,”_ she said loud enough for their friends to hear.

  
He stopped and stood there, blinking at her and then their friends as they all began to look at the two of them with barely concealed interest.

  
Asuka stepped up to him, her eyes staring deep into his. _“I lied. This is a special occasion.”_

 _  
“It is?”_ Shinsuke cocked his head in obvious confusion.

 _  
“It will be.”_ She corrected. She slid down onto one knee before him.

  
His eyes grew wide and a murmur sounded amongst their friends, restaurant staff, and other customers alike.

  
Asuka added an air of mystique to her expression as she reached into her suit jacket pocket. She pulled out a simple square lacquer box and opened it, revealing a gold band.

 _  
“Shinsuke, will **you** marry me?”_ she asked.

  
Shinsuke's eyes widened impossibly further. A cute blush spread from his ears to his cheeks and he covered his mouth.

  
Everyone in the restaurant seemed to hold their breath, an aura of surprised amusement filling the room.

  
Finally, Shinsuke removed his hand, showing off his ear-to-ear grin. _“Yes, of course!”_

  
Asuka’s heart thumped with joy and her spirit soured, drowning out the applause and cheers around them. She knew that her plan was quite avant-garde but she wanted to do this to show Shinsuke her appreciation, for his goodness far outweighed his mistakes.

  
After she put his ring on his finger, Shinsuke helped her to her feet and hoisted her up in his arms. Asuka wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him lovingly.

  
“Thank you, Asuka. This was wonderful,” he said softly. “I wish I could have—“

  
Asuka shushed him with a finger to his lips. “Drunk or not, your heart was in the right place. And that’s all that matters to me.”

  
Shinsuke’s eyes shimmered up at her and he lightly pushed his forehead against hers. With that gesture, she felt his soul reach out, embracing hers with silent gratitude.

  
“I love you, Asuka," he affirmed in a whisper, causing her heart to warm and flutter within her chest.

  
"I love you too, Shinsuke," she murmured back, hand moving to rest over his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please leave comments/kudos if you liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh no, what's going to happen next? D:  
> I was going to make just Billie and Peyton a pairing, but after finding out that Peyton was married to shawn spears (formerly Tye Dillinger), I thought of one of my cousins. She is married to a guy, but also has a girlfriends. So she and her husband are both polyamorous. That sort of inspired this background pairing.  
> Comments, kudos, etc. are greatly wanted and loved, please leave them~
> 
> Please keep Tweeting the hashtag #NakaMania on Twitter as often as you can so we can help our boy make it to a title match at WrestleMania! 
> 
> Shinsuke livestreamed tonight on his Shinsuke Nakamura Secret and OMG it was fun talking about yokai! He told me his favorite and I introduced him to the Shirime (Google Shirime, it's fun lol).


End file.
